Where True Contentment Never Comes From
By Michael Kelley
Most of life with a recurring case of the “if only’s.” These “if only’s” relate to any number of issues in our lives, but they all have the same result in our minds. Namely, that if we only had more (or less) of this or that, then the result will finally be our happiness. We would finally, if this or that were different, be content.
The list of “if only’s” change through different points in our lives. When we were kids, we thought that if we only had the right game system or pair of shoes we would be happy. Then, as a teenager, we thought that if we only had a different car or set of friends, then we would be happy.
The “if only’s” have now evolved with us as we’ve grown:
If only I had more money…
If only I had better behaved children…
If only I were healthy…
If only I had a different boss…
The list could go on, but if we were to summarize every item on the list, it would be something like this:
If only my circumstances were different, I would be content.
Paul has something to say about that statement in the book of Philippians. By way of background, we should remember that the apostle had a very close relationship with the Christians at Philippi. In fact, this church was one of the only churches from whom Paul accepted financial support for his missionary work. They were his friends, and in his letter to them, he referred to them as his co-workers and fellow laborers in ministry. They were concerned about Paul because he was in prison for preaching the gospel, and so they had expressed their concern to him. Paul was, of course, grateful for their support, but he wanted to make it clear that even though he was grateful to them, the source of his joy, satisfaction, and contentment was not circumstantial. Here’s what he wrote:
I rejoiced in the Lord greatly because once again you renewed your care for me. You were, in fact, concerned about me but lacked the opportunity to show it.I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.
Now Paul had all kinds of opportunities to think in terms of “if only’s”:
If only I were out of prison…
If only I was closer to my friends…
If only I could be a little more comfortable…
But instead of the “if only’s”, Paul claimed a sense of contentment.
Put another way, Paul’s source of contentment wasn’t because of his circumstances but despite them.
Indeed, he lists all kinds of circumstances that, if you’re living with the “if only’s”, would seem to make you discontent. But not Paul. He had been hungry and well fed. Well-resourced and poorly equipped. In prison and free.
The point Paul is making is that contentment—true contentment—doesn’t come from a change in circumstances. Instead, it is that rare jewel which the Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs described as “that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.”
Contentment, then, does not come from some change in circumstance outside you; it comes from delighting in Christ who is inside you. When we live with the “if only’s”, we are expecting some change in circumstance to do what only Jesus truly can.
So today if you have that sense that if only something were different in your life, perhaps it’s time to consider you’re looking in the wrong place. Look to Christ within you and find that rare jewel that will never be discovered in your circumstances.
Michael Kelley is a husband, father of three, author, and speaker from Nashville, TN. His latest book is a year-long family devotional guide called The Whole Story for the Whole Family. Find his personal blog at michaelkelley.co.
